Weird Fear # 3: someone vomiting in my mouth

This is a tricky one to explain.
How could a fear like this even develop!!!
???
I was certified in CPR for many years because I was either working with kids or
working as a security guard...and during my CPR training I learned that sometimes
while performing CPR "Mouth to Mouth" the "body" will vomit.
I cannot shake that image from my head.
...and I know that at times...I was the only staffer on duty with CPR certification...and I know
for a fact that if you were in dire need of CPR...you'd be shit outa luck.

Luckily...I have never had deal with what would be a very awkward situation for me...and a fatally tragic situation for someone else.

A Short List of Things I DON'T Collect

1. toenail clippings
2. boogers
3. egg shells
4. toilet paper tubes
5. scabs

Fuckin' Rockstar!

absorbed the kick ass riffs of new band Quincunx
last night at the Premier Club in Seattle.
Bass Player Matt Bird commanded the stage
and left hoards of screaming fans gap mouthed as
he laid into his rhythm, focused and steady.

Rose City Motel - Roseburg, OR

what I wrote in the Motel Journal (November 20, 2005):

We got a good chuckle out of the plaque posted by the door that stated "If you're smoking...you'd better be on FIRE!" Boy howdy did this conjure up some hilariously side splitting images! Thank you for THAT.

Oh...and thank you for "the brave and determined seafaring lad at the ship's wheel LAMP"...he kept us company through our stay and when I'd hear the dog whimpering next door I'd like to imagine he was goofing with that poor pooch telepathically. You'll notice we've left him with a strip of tape over his lips...let's just say I didn't fancy the way he spoke to me when I was dressing this morning. I don't care HOW LONG he's been at sea or HOW LONG it's been since he's shared company with a woman!

The only thing I'd suggest for future guests is that the bed was a bit too firm. I fancy sleeping in a bowl full of moonpies, mallamars, and marshmallows...and this didn't quite live up to my usual motel bed standard...sure it's soft - and it was like being the meat in a gyro as the mattress managed to actually HUG US through our slumber...I'm just sayin' it could have been softer.

DickHead Duck

I had a really bizarro dream last night that I had an enormous tattoo on my left inner thigh of a gi-normous mallard duck! it had a really long neck. and it's neck and head looked like a.... penis!

um...yikes.

WHY "Sometimes Velma"?

in my mind... I sometimes sport an orange husky sweater, short brown skirt, and knee socks with non-descript shoes. my glasses are thick, my hair is short. I'm the rational one...sometimes.