Top 5 Reasons: Why I'm not a RollerGirl

01. one hard knock to my right knee and the cap would zip off like a fuckin' hockey puck.
02. no matter what you might think...my hairy unshaven gams do NOT look good in fishnet stockings.
03. they don't make helmets size 3XL...my noggin is bigger than a water filled weather balloon.
04. "Velma" is not a kickass threatening name.
05. bad balance...the only wheels you'll see me on are those on the stretcher when the medic hauls my sorry ass off the ring.